The call comes suddenly. An elderly parent falls in the middle of the night. There is a a broken bone, or a cut that needs stitches. There are hospital visits and meetings with doctors and applications to rehab facilities, as well as more prosaic day-to-day issues. How will dad's rent be paid? Where is his checkbook? Does mom have a living will? Did she ever sign that power-of-attorney? When is the car insurance due? What should be done with the ever-accumulating mail in the over-stuffed mailbox?
In a January, 2011 study titled "Health and Caregiving Among the 50+: Ownership, Use and Interest in Mobile Technology," Linda Barrett, of AARP's department of Research & Strategic Analysis, writes that at least 30 percent of U.S. adults aged 50 and older are currently providing some kind of care to an elderly relative. 20 percent assist with tasks known as "activities of daily living," which include personal care, hygiene, and eating. 30 percent assist with tasks known as "instrumental activities of daily living," which include shopping, getting around in the community, housekeeping, preparing meals, managing medication, paying bills, and handling other personal affairs.
To be an effective advocate for an elderly relative, caregivers need the ability to make certain legal and medical decisions. The legal forms described below empower caregivers to act on the behalf of loved ones who can no longer make their own decisions.Templates and blank forms are all available at office supply shop such as Staples, from lawyers, or from online forms distributors.
Power of Attorney for a Parent's Financial and Legal Affairs
A Power of Attorney, or P.O..A., is a form that gives one person the legal power to act on the behalf of another. A "durable" power of attorney is a power of attorney that continues even if the principal is incapacitated. The form has a list of powers that your parent (or anyone else you are caring for) can grant to you, for example, the power to make financial decisions such as selling a house or closing a bank account. As such, the P.O.A. is an enormous expression of trust.
Your parent can sign all powers over to you, or can specify particular powers and not others. You in turn must sign the form, agreeing to take on the responsibility. The forms must be signed in the presence of a Notary Public, and each of you should keep copies.
Note that not all institutions accept generic P.O.A,. forms. Occasionally, a bank or other institution will have its own form, so you (or your parent) should also check to find out if a separate form is needed.
Medical Power of Attorney (Health Care Proxy)
A medical Power of Attorney, also knowing as a health care proxy, gives one person (and usually, an alternate, back-up person) the legal power to make medical decisions for a person who is not able to make them for him or herself.
You should have your own copy of this form, so that you don't have to rummage through your parent's filing system, in case of an emergency.
Living Wills for Elderly Relatives
A living will, also called an advanced care directive, is closely related to the medical power of attorney. While the medical power of attorney gives you the power to act on a parent or relative's behalf, the living will specifies what that person's wishes are regarding extreme medical measures. Examples include feeding tubes, ventilators, pain medication, and other specific or extreme measures that can be taken to prolong life.
When signing these forms, you and your parent should have an in depth conversation so that you are absolutely sure you understand their ethics and decisions regarding end-of-life care. It is important to include any family members who could be involved in end-of-life decisions (or bring them clearly up to date on it), especially if different family members have different convictions and religious beliefs regarding end-of-life-care.
A living will clearly states your parent or relative's preferences regarding specific medical procedures and under what circumstances they can be used. This can help resolve questions of what mom or dad would or wouldn't have wanted should you have to make difficult decisions regarding medical intervention.
Copies of the living will should be presented to hospital and nursing home administrators in every admission.
The Necessity of Wills
Every adult should have a will. Without one (being "intestate") means that the government gets to decide who inherits a person's property. The contents of your parents' wills needn't concern you now (that's your parents' business) but you need to know that a will exists, and where it is located. You should also know the name of the lawyer who drew it up and the person your parent named as the executor.
Once a person dies, his or her assets become part of an "estate." An executor (someone named in the will) handles the disposition of the estate, which means putting the will through probate (if necessary), paying off debts, and distributing the proceeds to beneficiaries. The executor can hire someone else, usually a lawyer, to do this job. Generally, a lawyer charges a fee based on the amount of the probated assets.
Note that probate can very often be avoided by designating beneficiaries on accounts. For example, if a bank account is in the name of Joe Parent, with Joe's children named an beneficiaries, Joe's children will be given an equal share of the proceeds on Joe Parent's death. This account does not have to be probated. A lawyer can help your parent structure his or her assets to avoid probate.
Finances and legal issues are the unpleasant but necessary responsibility of a caregiver. End-of-life care is fraught with emotion, and often involves conflict between family members. But by having these documents signed in advance, the caregiver has the legal authority to make decisions that must be made as an advocate for an elderly relative's care and safety.
Karen Berger - Karen Berger is the author of 15 books. Please click on her name to read her full bio.
